Facebook Statuses Decoded

by Maryann Pisano on August 7, 2011

1. Dear (town they live in),

       Can you please get my power back on?  I have been dying without air



        (their name)

This person is probably very well liked.  He or she is relaying a general

thought that many people can relate to (“It’s hot!  The power’s off!”) but

instead of being dramatic and explosive, they are funny and creative.  The

combination of the relatable topic and the interesting twist in presentation is

really impressive.  I bet this person got a lot of cool, creative comments in

return.   And I bet most of their status quips are equally as interesting.

2.  My teacher just assigned us a 20 page paper.  FML.

This person is probably under age 18…at least mentally.   People who use the

word “teacher” are either in middle or high school (college ‘teachers’ are

doctors or professors or instructors) and the acronym, replete with implied foul

language, is much more relevant to teenagers than any other group.  Although the

complaint is about an unwanted assignment, I wouldn’t necessarily conclude that

this person is lazy or stupid.  I would surmise that this person’s priorities

are more social than scholastic, though.  That too fits with being a teenager!

3.  Dinner and drinks tonight with my girlfriends!

Could mean, “I’m popular!  I have friends!”  or “I have no boyfriend or don’t

need my boyfriend or will be looking for a boyfriend! ” or  “If you didn’t know

about dinner, then you know now and you’re not invited!”  or, if this was

written by Charlie Sheen or a budding polygamist, it would have a totally

different meaning……

4.  Will be working/ studying all week.  I’m just letting everyone know in

advance I will be out of touch. 

This person has some insight and awareness.  They defined their FB status for

the gentle reader who may not understand the hidden meaning.  What this person

said is self-explanatory:  hey, I have a lot to do and won’t be on FB so don’t

expect too much from me.  The style of writing it out and then explaining it

hints that this person may be pretty intense and good at setting limits.  This

is the kind of person who doesn’t expect others to read their mind; they are

matter-of-fact and direct.  Not surprising for someone who is successfully

working and going to school at the same time!

5. Getting ready for Florida!  Which means…. GYM, GYM, GYM!

I’ll assume this was written by a female, only because it speaks of someone

wanting to get into shape to be seen in a bathing suit.  This comment reveals an

insecure person.  Sure, men can be vain as well, but most men wear long baggy

swim trunks, not mono-kinis.  The person that wrote this may want comments from

others like, “Oh Silly, you are lovely and hot just as you are!” which will be

reassuring.  I guarantee this person doesn’t want a comment like, “Yeah, you’ve

been looking a bit doughy lately…maybe get a base tan while you’re at it,


6.  Just booked the trip to Vegas!  Let the epicness begin.  

This person is pumping themselves up for a vacation, and Vegas implies all sorts

of debauchery.  “Epicness” is a current word so I would guess this person is in

their 20’s, probably single (or will be after messing around in Vegas) and

probably going on the trip with a group of friends who plan to party and gamble

and create memories.  The best part of any vacation is always the planning and

anticipation—-this person is showing their excitement with both.

7.  What’s going on tonight, guys?  What’s everyone doing?

“Hey, I’m bored, can I get invited to something or at least read about stuff?

Did I mention I’m bored?”  People who write this are sending out a message that

they want people to respond.  They either want to tag along or live vicariously.

There is nothing wrong with this—and sometimes people are in the mood to

yammer on about their plans.  Other people might not have the energy to respond

more than one or 2 words (ex, “bowling”).  The person that wrote the status will

likely want fuller responses and any response will likely lead to a

conversation.  That way, even if the person doesn’t actually get social plans

out of it, they will get some back and forth with others.  Then voila—no



The information presented in this website and the comments from Dr. Hughes are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or psychological disorder. The information presented is not a substitute for medical, psychological or psychiatric treatment. You are advised to seek professional medical and psychological help as necessary.

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