What’s your history with anxiety?
Growing up, I was an athlete. I was outgoing. I went to college and had a panic attack. It wasn’t something people talked about, and it started happening whenever I would talk to people. I used to love people, and suddenly I was afraid of people. It was hard in college, and it was hard making friends. I didn’t have much of a social life.
How were able to go on The Bachelorette with anxiety?
I had progressed. I went into sales on purpose when I was 21. I was one of the top guys in the country. Through that system, I overcame my anxiety. Someone with anxiety, you don’t want to be the center of attention, in the spotlight, or where you can’t escape. Reality TV encompassed all that. It forced me to challenge it, and it really helped me. My legitimate fear was I would have a panic attack on national TV, and the cameras would follow me and there was nowhere to escape.
How did you deal with your anxiety after the show?
After the show, I had to talk to people, and going live on their show. I talked to Oprah, Connie Chung, and Diane Sawyer about my anxiety. People would message me, and younger people would reach out to me. That’s how it led to the book.
What advice would you give people who have anxiety?
People think it’s permanent and they think something’s wrong with them. No. 1, they’re not alone. It’s the most common disorder people deal with. It’s temporary. I was one point suicidal because of it, but looking back, it turned out to be my biggest strength. The hard things in life make you stronger. If you work at it, you come out better than you have before.
So you truly believe if you work at it, you can make it go away?
I 100 percent believe that. You can be the least anxious guy in the room. If there was 50,000 in a room, you may be the least anxious guy there. I’m probably less anxious than most people.
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